Reflections on Breastfeeding and Night Waking

Emily was breastfed, and at ten weeks old she "slept through the night" for the first time. I woke up at 5am, a good eight hours after her last feed and my blood ran cold. I tore into her room to find her sleeping soundly just as I had left her.

She has done this every night since, except for a few nights here and there when she was unwell. Even when teething, she continued to sleep 12 hours a night, uninterrupted.

So two years later, when my son Toby was born - I knew it all. He was also breastfed, and he would be sleeping through too by ten weeks, because hey! - I was an expert. Those of you with more than one child probably already know what's coming. Yes, karma bit me on the backside, hard. No matter what I did, Toby had no intention of sleeping through at 10 weeks. At 10 months he was waking up almost hourly, and I was nearly beside myself coping with a toddler during the day and no sleep at night. That is when it started.

Suddenly, I was inundated with advice, most of which had a common theme: "You need to wean him". Everyone from my husband, my mother, my friends, to our GP said that at his age, he would never stop waking up until I stopped breastfeeding him. Suddenly, this wonderful gift I was giving my son was a tool for everyone around me to use to make me feel that my suffering was somehow self-inflicted - and that unless I was prepared to "do" something about it (ie. wean him), I should just stop complaining.

I didn't wean him because I just knew in my heart that he wasn't ready. He continued to wake at night for a breastfeed, even beyond his first birthday. While it was never as bad as it had been at 10 months, he still woke twice a night without exception. By the time he was a year-and-a-half old, I had long lost any expectation that he would ever sleep through the night.

About month ago, we celebrated Toby's second birthday. And two weeks ago, completely out of the blue, he slept through the night - and he has done it every night since. He's still breastfeeding and nothing else has changed. He was just ready. I know that for him, weaning him early would have achieved nothing in the sleep department - and we would have lost not only our breastfeeding relationship, but probably even more sleep getting up to heat bottles in the middle of the night when he continued to wake up anyway.

Now that he has night weaned by himself, I'm so glad that I kept breastfeeding through the temptation to quit. Breastfeeding babes do sleep through - sometimes at 10 weeks, some not until two years - but just like every other baby, they do it when they're ready and nothing will make them do it before that magical, blessed day arrives.

Now, if you're listening Toby it would be lovely if you'd wean completely by Christmas. But if you aren't ready yet, that's OK too.

Labels: breastfeeding

5 Confidence Builders!

Being pregnant and birthing in a society that mostly has an ingrained and widespread fear of birth, is not an easy job.

The messages can be relentless. Birth is dangerous. Birth is degrading. Birth is messy. Birth belongs behind closed doors. Birth is a spectator sport. Birth is the domain of medicine, not of women.

This post is an antidote to all of that. Here are some of my favourite articles and videos that remind me that birth is beautiful, powerful and transforming! Enjoy.

1. Pelvises I Have Known and Loved by Gloria LeMay

This article has been around for quite some time now. If you've ever been told your pelvis is too small to birth a baby, or this is something that you've wondered or worried about - read and be amazed.

2. Giorgio Padraic's Freebirth

This video shows an unassisted (no midwife/doctor/birth attendant present) waterbirth. Even if you'd never in a million years consider a homebirth or an unassisted birth, this video is still amazing viewing. A little boy is born gently and easily into his mother's waiting hands. I love this video because through it, we can see what is possible.




3. The Endocrinology of Ecstacy and Pain In Labour - Dr Sarah J Buckley

The first time I read these articles they blew my mind. Sarah's work just appeals to my common sense. So often we hear generalisations about our "hormones and endorphins kicking in" or "just knowing instinctively what to do" in reference to labour. These articles explain exactly how this happens. As well as presenting a bucketload of information on the relationship between birthing hormones, breastfeeding and bonding. I challenge anyone to read these articles for the first time and not have their view of labour and birth changed forever.

4. How to Check Your Own Cervix - It's not Rocket Science - Gloria LeMay

Cervical dilation has become shrouded in mystery since birth moved into hospitals. It's so empowering to have the confidence to do this yourself, and really easy once you do it a few times. If you're worried that this is dangerous, think about this - are you more likely to be injured picking your own nose - or letting someone else do it for you? Many women check their own cervix pre-pregnancy as part of natural fertility management, and this is really no different.

5. Active Birth - Janet Balaskas

If you can't get hold of a copy of the classic book, this article is a fantastic summary and starting point. Janet Balaskas reminded women the world over of what their bodies already knew about the benefits of birthing actively, and putting the mother at the centre of birth.

Labels: conscious birthing, video